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VALLEY OF THE DOLLS

hi i'm austy
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You stand there, waiting for the rush of exhilaration you’d thought you’d feel—but it doesn’t come. You’re too far away to hear the applause and take your bows. And there’s no place left to climb.

You’re alone, and the feeling of loneliness is overpowering.


> Enter name.

Your name is KE$HA. You have just woken up feeling like P. DIDDY. You also feel like you have a HANGOVER, but that’s pretty much normal. What isn’t normal is that you apparently slept in a ROGUE BATHTUB. At least, you’re pretty sure you never had a bathtub situated at the top of your stairs. You have absolutely no memory of last night, but you’re going to guess it was RAW AS HELL.

> Ke$ha: Go outside.

You step outside into a marsh of WHISKEY. Is this heaven? Actually, it’s the Land of Whiskey and Glitter. But you already knew that. You’ve been playing this game for quite some time, although you’ve been WASTED OFF YOUR ASS for most of it.

> Ke$ha: Get inside your fucking Gold Trans Am.

Wam, bam, thank you ma’am. You probably shouldn’t be driving in your present state, but you may as well make the most of the day like you’re gonna die young.

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